Thursday, September 16, 2010


I finished making a pendant and a ring for my jewelry class!! I am so excited!

I was digging through my jewelry and found this bracelet. It is one that I got at BYU Education Week. My cousin and our new friend both got similar bracelets. I then bought a best friend charm for each of us. I had forgotten about it...

Much Better

Well, after writing the last post I went to bed, and promptly fell asleep. I woke up early enough to make Zach some breakfast, instead of giving him some cold cereal as usual. After he left I read my scriptures and did some reading for school. I went back to bed, and woke up before eight o'clock (I usually sleep until eight, or nine... sometimes even ten). I got up and had a very productive day. At the end of the day I did not feel depressed at all. I was very pleased with my self.
I guess that Zach is correct. He has told me several times over the past several months that a person is happiest when they are busy, and not lazy all the time. I think what I need to do is to focus on being productive, and drawing closer to my Father in Heaven. I think that if I do that than I will be truly happy.

Monday, September 13, 2010

I choose

The past couple of days I have been feeling a little blue. I feel like my life doesn't really have any purpose right now.
I am taking only two classes at Gila Pueblo Community College. I pretty much stay at home the rest of the time. Zach leaves for work at 4:30 in the morning, and most days I go right to bed. I set my alarm for seven, but then ignore it and sleep until nine. I then lay around reading, or playing computer all day. I barely get housework done before Zach gets home that afternoon. I had done some job searching but I decided that I don't want to be tied to a job. I want to be able to go with Zach to Safford on the weekends when he works on his projects. I don't want to have to go straight from work to class, and not see Zach until bedtime. I want to be able to do all my housework before he gets home so that we can spend the evening together. I have let myself become a lazy, overweight, slob with almost no motivation to change.
Right now I hate the way I am feeling. I hate what I have let myself become. I want to be better than this. I know I am better than this. I want to go volunteer at the hospital. Maybe even the school. I want to bounce out of bed when the alarm goes off, no matter how early, like I did in high school after staying up all night. I want to eat healthier, and loose some weight. I want to keep the house clean because I want it clean; not because I don't want to disappoint Zach with how lazy I am, or once the the house as become a disaster have a pity party over my bad housekeeping skills. I want my life to have meaning. To have a purpose. I don't want it to be spent laying around all day and waiting until last minute to do homework, or housework.
I have projects to do. I have all the materials to do Zach's mission scrapbook. I want to pull the weeds by our apartment, and make it look a little better. I want to start crocheting. I want to go walking more and explore Besh ba Gowa (some Indian ruins), and find the lake (I think it is Roosevelt lake, but I am not quite sure). I want to exercise more. I want to be able to entertain friends and family. Mostly I want to be genuinely happy. I haven't admitted to anyone, not even myself until now. I am not happy right now. Not completely. There isn't any one thing I am unhappy about. I am just unhappy in general. The only thing I am happy about is my wonderful husband. He is so good to me. No matter how ditsy/blonde I am, no matter how forgetful, I know Zach loves me. I couldn't ask for a better husband.
Starting now I am going to pull myself out of this pit. I have been told that everything is a choice. Well, I choose to be happy. I choose to become a better person. I choose to work harder, and do less laying around. I choose.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

One of my Heroes

Brad Wilcox was the session director at my first Esipecially for Youth in New York. It is largely because of his talks that my testimony of my Savoir, Jesus Christ, is where it is. This is a takl by him that I just finished listening to. It is a beautful talk on the Atonement of Jesus Christ.